P
PurpleGirl

5 Signs That You're in a Toxic Relationship and What to Do Next

By PurpleGirl EditorsUpdated May 20267 min read
🌐Read this guide in your language:

Reviewed by

Dr. Ritu Bansal · MA (Psychology), M.Phil (Clinical Psychology)

Riya had been with her boyfriend for three years, and at first, everything seemed perfect. However, over time, she started to feel unheard, unappreciated, and even belittled in front of his friends and family. She tried to brush it off as a normal part of any relationship, but deep down, she knew something was off. If your situation is similar, you're not alone. Many women in India struggle to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship, and it's essential to acknowledge these red flags to take control of your life. One of the primary signs of a toxic relationship is when your partner consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, and this can be particularly challenging for Indian women who are often socialized to prioritize their family's needs over their own. The good news is that there are steps you can take to break free from a toxic relationship and start rebuilding your life.

Community Advice Disclaimer: This guide is based on community experiences and lifestyle advice. It is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or legal advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for personal diagnoses or treatments.

What You'll Need

  • Support from friends and family
  • Access to counseling services
  • A safe and secure living environment
1

Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Relationship: What to Look Out For

You might find it challenging to acknowledge the signs of a toxic relationship, especially if you've been with your partner for a long time. However, it's crucial to be aware of the red flags, such as consistent belittling, emotional manipulation, or gaslighting. A lot of women in India struggle to recognize these signs because they're often socialized to be nurturing and selfless. For instance, if your partner constantly criticizes your cooking or makes fun of your hobbies, it may be a sign of a deeper issue. If you're unsure, take some time to reflect on your relationship and ask yourself if you feel heard, respected, and valued. You can also talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns, or consider taking a quiz like the toxic relationship quiz to help you identify potential issues. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and take steps to protect yourself from harm.

2

Seeking Support: Talking to Friends, Family, or a Therapist

Once you've recognized the signs of a toxic relationship, it's essential to seek support from people you trust. This could be a close friend, a family member, or a therapist who can provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to talk about your feelings. A lot of women in India may feel hesitant to seek help due to societal pressure or fear of being judged. However, it's crucial to remember that you don't have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes in relationships, such as those listed on the Indian Psychological Association website. You can also talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns and ask for their support. For example, you could say something like, 'Hey, I've been feeling really unhappy in my relationship, and I'm not sure what to do. Can we talk about it?' Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it's the first step towards taking control of your life. If you're struggling to find a therapist, you can also try online counseling services like BetterHelp, which offer affordable and convenient access to mental health professionals.

Worth knowing: Consider keeping a journal to track your feelings and thoughts about your relationship. This can help you identify patterns and gain clarity on your situation.

Have a specific question you can't ask anyone? Ask it anonymously — no name needed.

Ask Here →
3

Setting Boundaries: Learning to Say No and Prioritize Your Own Needs

Setting boundaries is an essential step in breaking free from a toxic relationship. This means learning to say no to your partner's demands and prioritizing your own needs and desires. You might find it challenging to set boundaries, especially if you're used to putting your partner's needs first. However, it's crucial to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Start by identifying what you're comfortable with and what you're not, and communicate your boundaries clearly to your partner. For example, you could say, 'I'm not comfortable with you criticizing my cooking. Can we find a way to communicate that works for both of us?' Remember, setting boundaries is not about being selfish; it's about taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own emotional well-being. If you're struggling to set boundaries, consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group, such as the National Commission for Women helpline.

Keep in mind: Be aware that setting boundaries may lead to pushback from your partner. Be prepared to stand firm and prioritize your own needs, even if it's uncomfortable.

Step 4

Creating a Safety Plan: Preparing for a Potential Crisis

If you're in a toxic relationship, it's essential to create a safety plan in case of a potential crisis. This could include having a safe place to stay, a support network of friends and family, and a plan for how to leave the relationship if necessary. You might find it helpful to create a checklist of things to do in case of an emergency, such as packing a bag with essential items, identifying a safe place to stay, and having a plan for how to get there. Consider reaching out to a domestic violence hotline, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the India-based helpline, for support and guidance. Remember, your safety is the top priority, and it's essential to be prepared in case of an emergency. Don't hesitate to reach out for help if you need it, and consider using online resources like the NCW website to find support and guidance. You can also use the period calculator to track your menstrual cycle and plan for any potential health needs.

5

Taking Control of Your Life: Moving Forward and Rebuilding

Once you've recognized the signs of a toxic relationship and taken steps to seek support, set boundaries, and create a safety plan, it's time to take control of your life and move forward. This means prioritizing your own needs and desires, and taking steps to rebuild your life. You might find it helpful to start by setting small goals for yourself, such as taking a class or joining a club, and gradually working your way up to bigger goals. Consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group to help you navigate this process. Remember, breaking free from a toxic relationship takes time and courage, but it's worth it in the end. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled, and it's never too late to start fresh. If you're struggling to get started, try using a tool like the check your symptoms quiz to help you identify areas where you need support. You can also try practicing self-care activities like yoga or meditation to help you manage stress and anxiety. For example, you could try taking a yoga class at a local studio like Yoga House in Mumbai, or practicing meditation using an app like Headspace.

6

Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem: Learning to Love and Accept Yourself

After leaving a toxic relationship, it's essential to focus on rebuilding your self-esteem and learning to love and accept yourself. This can be a challenging process, but it's crucial for moving forward and creating a happy and fulfilling life. You might find it helpful to start by practicing self-care activities, such as taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or spending time in nature. Consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group to help you navigate this process. Remember, you deserve to be loved and respected, and it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you're struggling to get started, try using a tool like the self-esteem quiz to help you identify areas where you need support. You can also try seeking support from a trusted friend or family member, or joining a support group like the Indian Women's Association. For example, you could try attending a support group meeting in a city like Delhi or Bangalore, or joining an online community like the Indian Women's Forum.

PurpleGirl Insight

"Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and it's never too late to seek help and start fresh."

Was this guide helpful?

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the common signs of a toxic relationship in Indian women?
Common signs of a toxic relationship in Indian women include consistent belittling, emotional manipulation, or gaslighting. You might also experience feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety, or feel trapped in the relationship. If you're unsure, consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group, or taking a quiz like the [toxic relationship quiz](/quiz/toxic-relationship-quiz) to help you identify potential issues.
How can I prioritize my own needs and desires in a toxic relationship?
Prioritizing your own needs and desires in a toxic relationship can be challenging, but it's essential for taking control of your life. Start by identifying what you're comfortable with and what you're not, and communicate your boundaries clearly to your partner. Consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group to help you navigate this process. Remember, setting boundaries is not about being selfish; it's about taking care of yourself and prioritizing your own emotional well-being.
What should I do if I'm in a toxic relationship and I'm not sure how to leave?
If you're in a toxic relationship and you're not sure how to leave, it's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. Consider reaching out to a domestic violence hotline, such as the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.ncadv.org/) or the [India-based helpline](https://www.mygov.in/), for support and guidance. You can also talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns and ask for their support. Remember, you don't have to go through this alone, and there are resources available to help you.
How can I rebuild my self-esteem after leaving a toxic relationship?
Rebuilding your self-esteem after leaving a toxic relationship can be a challenging process, but it's essential for moving forward and creating a happy and fulfilling life. Consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group to help you navigate this process. You might also find it helpful to practice self-care activities, such as taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or spending time in nature. Remember, you deserve to be loved and respected, and it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being.
What are some common myths about toxic relationships in India?
Common myths about toxic relationships in India include the idea that a toxic relationship is always physically abusive, or that it's always the woman's fault. However, toxic relationships can take many forms, and it's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek support if you need it. Consider seeking support from a therapist or a support group to help you navigate this process. Remember, you don't have to go through this alone, and there are resources available to help you.
TherapyYourDOSTLicensed Experts

Online Therapy with Indian Psychologists

Licensed Indian psychologists — available in Hindi, Telugu, and English. First session at ₹499.

Book a Session

Free Weekly Updates

Get anonymous mental health support resources weekly

No spam. Unsubscribe anytime. 100% anonymous.

💜
PurpleGirl
Real Advice · Always Online