How to Deal with Body Shaming Comments from Relatives During Family Gatherings
Reviewed by
PurpleGirl Editorial Team · Reviewed by experienced women writers & researchers
You’re standing in front of the mirror, adjusting your dupatta, feeling beautiful until you remember the upcoming family wedding. Your heart sinks. You can already hear that one aunt saying, 'You’ve put on so much weight' or 'Why don't you try this diet?' It hurts, doesn't it? That sinking feeling in your stomach is real, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Your body is not a topic for public debate, and it’s time we reclaim your peace at these gatherings.
What You'll Need
- A deep breath
- A calm, neutral facial expression
- One 'exit' phrase
- Self-compassion
The 'Grey Rock' Technique
When someone makes a comment, don't get defensive or start explaining your diet. Simply give a boring, neutral answer. Say 'Okay' or 'I see' with a blank face and immediately turn to someone else to talk about the food or the weather. When you don't give them an emotional reaction, they lose interest in provoking you.
Set a Firm Boundary
If the comments continue, you have the right to be direct but polite. Look them in the eye and say, 'I am not comfortable discussing my body or weight today. Let’s talk about something else.' It might feel scary to speak up, but it usually stops the conversation in its tracks.
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The Power of the Exit
You are not a prisoner at these events. If a relative is being consistently mean, you have full permission to walk away. Just say, 'Excuse me, I need to go say hello to someone,' or 'I’m going to grab a drink,' and walk toward a group of friends or cousins who make you feel safe and happy.
"Your worth is not a number on a scale, and you do not owe anyone an explanation for how you look."
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